An Empty Den
by EnigmaticMind2016
Summary: Requested! There was always one thing that Buck would never be able to provide for his mate. BuckxKeeva. Warning: Mentions depression


**A/N: Hello all! Listen, you guys might want to grab some tissues for this one. Seriously. So, I got my first request from TalionStormcrow. They wanted to see a situation where Buck was _unable_ to help Keeva. It was a toughie, because Buck is very strong/capable/caring, I had a hard time figuring out what he _couldn't_ do for her. And then it hit me, the _one thing_ Buck would never be able to do for her. So, grab a Kleenex and here we go! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ice Age. I do own my OCs.**

An Empty Den

Keeva trailed silently after a deer herd, ghosting in and out of the brush as she surveyed the herd's members. It was a small gathering, only six of them. Three does, one with a fawn, and two bucks. All oblivious to her presence.

She'd be hunting alone today, but not without company. Shira was at her flank, crouched low and out of sight. Manny, of all mammals, suggested she try and befriend the saber. Keeva didn't see what the big deal was, she was perfectly nice to Shira, and vice versa, who really cared if they weren't best friends?

Well, the she-wolf invited her along on the promise she didn't interfere, and the two set off. Only, there seemed to be, not necessarily wrong with the Shira, but she seemed rather distracted. In a good mood though, she's had a dreamy grin her muzzle for the past quarter mile, Keeva'd bet her hunt on it having something to do with Diego. Keeva could hardly say anything, she looked like a dope too, when she had Buck on the brain.

Shira sighed for what had to be the thousandth time, a sigh of the dreamy, lovesick variety, and Keeva promptly pulled her attention away from the deer. This was just too amusing _not_ to give her full attention to.

"Okay," the she-wolf declared finally, what's up with you?"

Shira blinked. "Huh?"

Keeva rolled her eyes and mimed the tigress' expression, sigh and all. Shira seemed to flush. "Oh."

"So what's up? I know it's got to be Diego related. You don't go gooey eyes for anything except him."

"Ah...well, it's still kind of early-and don't tell anyone!...but I'm pregnant!"

Keeva's jaw slackened in a shocked sort of smile and practically leapt for joy. "What? Shira, that's huge! Have you told Diego?"

"Not yet," Shira said, "I wanted make sure first, you know? I'm going to tell him tonight, when we get back."

"Okay," Keeva snorted, "you have to tell me about the face he makes, because it's going to be _priceless._ "

Diego's face was priceless. And so was everyone else's when the tigers announced the coming infants to the rest of the herd. And Keeva was thrilled. She'd missed most of Peaches' growing up, being with Buck and all, now she had a chance to watch her best friend's kids grow up.

She wasn't sure when it hit her, sometime after Shira started showing, Keeva really got down. Manny and Ellie had a baby, Shira and Diego were due soon, and one day Peaches were going to have a calf of her own. Sid and Brooke too, but not her.

Keeva could never have a litter of her own, that dream in life had died the moment she accepted Buck as her mate. She didn't regret that, she _loved_ Buck and she would choose him over and over again.

It had started small, her drepression. At first, her smiles started fading when the cubs were brought up, later she excused herself from the conversation altogether. Then she could barely look at the pregnant Shira and not feel tears sting her eyes.

Sometimes, when she was sure she was alone, she'd just lay there and stare at her flat stomach. It would never swell with growth of new life, she'd never feel a puppy kick her, or exclaim said action to Buck so he could come and feel too. She'd never go through labor pain or hours of childbirth, she'd never get to nurse a newborn. And she'd sob desperately into her paws.

Ellie was the first to confront her.

"Hey sweetie," Ellie waved her trunk in greeting as the dark wolf slipped back into camp from her latest crying spell. Hoping her eyes weren't red, Keeva forced a smile for the mammoth. "Hi, Ellie."

"Listen, I'm throwing a baby shower for Shira and I was hoping you'd be williing to help."

"Oh," Keeva winced, "I don't know El...I'm really tired just now. Can it wait?"

"Sweetheart, you and I both know babies don't wait for anyone." Ellie's tone was light, humored, but Keeva found she just couldn't share the mirth. "Oh," she muttered, "right." She really hated to dodge around Ellie, being as doting as she was toward Keeva, but the she-wolf just couldn't handle anything remotely related to childcare, it was just too much.

"Right, it's just, I have to hunt and-"

"I thought you said you were tired?" Ellie cut across, confused.

"I am."

Keeva looked terrible, Ellie had to admit. She didn't think she'd ever seen the little wolf so unwell. Her fur was dull and matted, Keeva clearly hadn't groomed herself in a while. She looked thinner too, more frail...and sad, really, really sad.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Keeva nodded placidly. "Mhm."

Ellie didn't agree, and now that she thought about it, she was pretty certian she knew what was wrong. "Oh, honey, it could still happen for you."

Keeva looked up sharply. "What?"

"Maybe, you and Buck could take in a couple and-"

"So someone has to _die_ for me to become a mother?" Keeva questioned, anguished. "That's sick, El." The thought of a baby alone without a parent brought further moisture to her eyes. "That's not what I want, I...I just...I just want what you have." Ellie didn't have to ask. She knew.

When Manny and Ellie decided they wanted children, they just did it. Buck and Keeva didn't have that sense of normalcy, and while their oddities were a testament to their love, they couldn't just have kids whenever they wanted them.

"I'm sorry," Ellie said wholeheartedly.

"Yeah," Keeva turned to go. "Me too." She paused, "if Buck asks, I'm at home." And then she sprinted for the den she and her weasel called home.

Ellie didn't even wait for the wolf to get out of earshot, before she went looking for Buck. After all, there wasn't a Keeva related problem the weasel couldn't fix, and Keeva definitely needed someone right now.

Buck, wonderfully concerned mate that he was, came running.

He'd known something was up with his wife for a while, but was trying to give her space enough to come to him when she was ready. Clearly, such a leniency had been a bad idea. He rushed into the den, lodging his knife in the dirt near the entrance.

Keeva heard the knife strike the dirt, her ears perming involuntarily toward the sound. Normally, lived for that sound, it meant her husband was home for the day, with no more intention of leaving, and she could have him for the rest of TNT day. Now though, it took all she had in her not to cringe.

"Come on, lass, I know your not asleep."

Keeva huffed, but obediently dragged her eyes open. "That's better," Buck nodded, "now, tell me what's wrong." Keeva opened her mouth, as always keen to share with him, but no words came out. What was she supposed to say? That she was depressed because she was a wolf and he was a weasel and as such she could never have his children, which she so desperately wanted? No. He'd feel terrible, guilty even. _She_ felt terrible and guilty. Buck was her mate. He loved her, protected her, did his best to tend to her every want and need. How dare she be so selfish.

When her silence stretched too long, Buck took her chin in his hands, forcing her to meet his eye.

"You think I don't want them too?" He questioned softly. "I do Kee, just as badly as you do." His sapphire iris was overly bright with tears. "I wish every day I could give them to you, but darlin' I _can't._ "

She choked on a sob. He sounded so devastated, so heartbroken.

"I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely. "I'm being so selfish-"

"Stop that." Buck cut her off. "Don't go blamin' yourself. Every female deserves the right to motherhood, an', if you want...if you want..." Buck couldn't get it out, choking on a sob of his own. "No!" Keeva barked, catching on all too easily. "I love _you_ Buck, I _chose_ you. I don't want anyone by my side except _you._ "

"Even if it means ya can't have kids? Knowin' how badly ya want them?"

"Yes. Please I...I know you want them as badly as I do. I know it kills you too...I-l'm so sorry."

Buck cried hard to hear his mate apologizing for the babies she couldn't have, the babies he couldn't give to her, it ripped his heart straight out of his chest.

"I'm so sorry."

He was the one who was sorry. He promised to give her everything in life, but he couldn't give her the one thing she really wanted. They really wanted.

He had _failed_ as a mate...and he'd never get to be a father.

And they both cried for their loss.

 **A/N: Okay, I'm bawling hysterically now. I don't know how good this is, if it's any good at all. If it sucks, you can tell me (nicely please), but I knew children would just about be the only thing Buck couldn't give to Keeva. So, I'm going to go to a fluffier place now, if anyone else would like a request, you can leave it in the comments or just PM me. TalionStormcrow, I do hope you liked it and I hope to hear your thoughts soon. Thank you so much for challenging me with this.**

 **See you next time!**


End file.
